Tales of the H-Wing

I'm not much of a Villian..

2007-02-13T05:25:42Z

But I suppose I DO feel like this right about now:
You are The Joker

The Joker		70%
Apocalypse		63%
Magneto		61%
Riddler		56%
Two-Face		56%
Venom		54%
Lex Luthor		53%
Mr. Freeze		53%
Dr. Doom		46%
Mystique		40%
Green Goblin		36%
Catwoman		34%
Dark Phoenix		30%
Juggernaut		24%
Poison Ivy		23%
Kingpin		21%

The Clown Prince of Crime. You are a brilliant mastermind but are criminally insane. You love to joke around while accomplishing the task at hand.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Missing in action...

2007-02-13T05:13:43Z

Sorry I haven't been around- between the triumph of the Star Wars "Where Science Meets Imagination" exhibit here in L.A. and the tragedy of my brother Tom's murder last week, I just haven't had time for much elife. Add my computer rebuild of the past month, and it's like a forced vacation...

But I'll post a review of the exhibit Gala event shortly. I probably won't feel too motivated until after Tom's funeral, though.

Rose Parade Tomorrow!

2007-01-01T01:19:41Z

Greetings, all! I hope that the New Year is finding you well!

Many of you know of my long association with Lucasfilm through various children's charities, specifically as an officer in the 501st Stormtrooper Legion and a member of the Rebel Legion costuming group. As a thank you for our years of service on the behalf of so many philanthropic fronts, Rose Parade Grand Marshal George Lucas has selected many of us to participate in the parade. I am marching tomorrow, New Year's Day, and thought I would just post an FYI now that I know what my Rose Parade assignment is- watch for me and cheer us on!

I am part of Lucasfilms' Star Wars Spectacular entry, featuring two awesome floats, the Grambling State University Marching Band, and an unprecedented group of 200 marching white-armored Stormtroopers from all over the US and 24 countries around the world.. We have been sequestered and training in "boot camp" for the past week with the aid of US Army Drill Instructor Col. Anthony Toledo, and have just passed muster with Lucas and the ToR committee. It has been a tremendous time, but won't be over until we finish the 5.5 mile parade route tomorrow morning.

I am in the color guard, carrying the red, white and blue-banded flag of France; just next to and behind the US and California state flags on the forward (camera side) edge of the presentation. If you are attending the parade, cheer out! Otherwise, look for all of us crazy ones on TV, one-third of the way through the 100-entry tournament...

Thanks, and have a happy new year!

The Power of Human Voice

2006-05-17T10:16:55Z

I live for the opportunity to perform the occasional voiceover, and take a certain delight in mimicry and vocal sound effects. The song in my heart often rises to the surface and becomes the tune on my lips, be it Bono or Bing.

I find an unbridled joy in this ad from the UK, extolling the virtues of the Honda motorcar using a soundtrack of voices in the acoustically marvelous venue of a parking garage. Garrison Keillor, appropriately, does the spoken introduction.

http://ueba.net/html/Civic-ad

Which Star Wars character are you?

2006-05-16T09:25:02Z

Got this from colleency; is there any doubt who I'd be?

Your results:
You are Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi		99%
Yoda		82%
Qui-Gon Jinn		80%
Princess Leia		74%
R2-D2		73%
Padme		70%
Han Solo		64%
Chewbacca		64%
An Ewok		63%
Mace Windu		61%

You are civilized, calm, and
have a good sense of humor,
even when those around you don't.
You can hold your own in a fight,
but prefer it when things
don't get too exciting.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)
Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz

H-Wing update...

2006-05-10T20:12:05Z

The H-Wing is mostly restored -and back on the charity-event circuit- thanks to the folks that have helped with equipment and time. We've now had the car for 6 years (5 in H-Wing mufti), and put 90,000 miles on her.

Still to do:
Fixes:
Repaint the hood.
Touch up paint- entire car.
Repair/replace seats.
Repair/replace antenna.
Replace vinyl graphics
Fix the aux lights, either with lights or PA speakers, but plug up the holes.

Install:
Install fog lamps.
Install the gun tip strobes.
Procure and install lights, automation circuit and sound effects for R2.
Procure and install sound effects for car.
Procure and install power supply for computer.

Recently completed:
Alarm installed.
Interior panels reuphulstered.
Nurnies/rivets repaired.
Brakes done.
Wheels aligned.
Front control arms fixed.

Who is more foolish...

2006-05-04T23:57:41Z

..the fool, or the fool that calls him one?

Whilst driving to Griffith Observatory via the 10 freeway last week, some kids took advantage of the tragically slow traffic to examine the H-Wing. They were aboard what we call "the short bus", those tiny transports usually reserved for tots political correctness has dubbed "developmentally disabled"; we used to call them "retarded". At the charity events I do, they are called "differently-abled".

Most of the kids were excited to see the car, waving and calling out the windows. Their speech difficulties identified them pretty solidly in the "differently-abled" category. But they were having a great time, yelling at R2 and generally upsetting their bus driver.

As traffic began to speed up, and I finally passed the front of the bus, I heard the following from the window just behind the driver's seat:

"DUDE! Your car is totally retarded!"

It was called out with the slurred voice of authority, and I got the feeling that I had just been dissed by the coolest kid on the short bus, who won a bloodless coup and showed how much cooler he was than I amongst his peers.

I had a smile on my face all day knowing that, among the short bus crowd, I was in the short car.

Home again, home again...

2005-11-11T07:33:57Z

The H-Wing has returned home. It still needs an awful lot of work, and I have more questions the more I poke around.

On the plus side, after a lot of pressure from folks I put a "donation" button up at www.h-wing.com, and people are actually helping out! I must say it's heartwarming and humbling. The only tangible feedback on the car I usually get (aside from the occasional note under the wiperblades) is hate mail, so it's really a shock to see people give praise with their pocketbooks. Thanks to those that have helped out- I'll send something more personal directly to you.

The bodywork went okay, but the driver's side is off around the headlight, like the car had a little stroke. I go back tomorrow to have 'em tweak it. They also painted some interior parts a strange shade of green- not sure why. But they are a really good shop, and I'll post some info on them when I get this wrapped up.

On the way home from the shop, my brakes were barely working- so I had Loyola Automotive check it out. The mechanic said that the engine is great, but the Master Brake Cylinder is going. I go to Pep Boys tomorrow to have that fixed, as it's under warranty, but it begs the question: Did I have an accident because my brakes failed? I mentioned to Colleen at the time of the collision that it seemed that I had a hard time stopping (I had slammed the pedal to the floor, in fact, and the wheels that should have locked up didn't), but I later attributed that to my perception of the truck in front of me without brake lights. Not that it matters, but inquiring minds want to know.

And, as expected, Mercury Insurance has assigned me "Bad Driver" status. Since they won't insure my car for more than half the market value anyway (they totaled it and gave it a "salvage" title), I should probably either just get liability or go to a different company. They really have been not communicative or helpful, and the estimate on the car was uninformed and unfair. Things like apparently interpreting rust-colored primer paint as real rust, and saying my tires were old when I bought them a month ago.

But weather and time permitting, I hope to spray a little paint this weekend. I still want to re-debut at the Doo-Dah Parade in Pasadena on the 20th, so keep your fingers crossed!.

My Life as a number...

2005-11-05T09:47:06Z

Fascinating to distill my life into a series of bar graphs. I suppose it's accurate enough... I wonder if my wife's would match. If hers is better, would that make me a good husband?

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.3
Mind:	7.3
Body:	7.3
Spirit:	10
Friends/Family:	7.1
Love:	9.1
Finance:	7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

H-Wing Update

2005-10-22T10:12:16Z

I've received so many questions of late, many due to rumor and misinformation, so I've decided to send out an FAQ. Sorry if you know this already, or if you're hearing this for the first time.
____________________________________________

1: The H-Wing was in an accident on October 8th.
Status: True.

I'm afraid I rear-ended a Dodge truck on the 91 freeway while on my way to an American Red Cross charity event in Norco. The other vehicle had no functioning brake lights, so I hadn't noticed it was slowing until too late. I hit at approximately 30 MPH, and suffered no injuries except to my pride. R2-D2 is fine, and didn't even get whiplash.

2: The other party ran from the scene.
Status: True.

After checking that his vehicle suffered no damage, the other driver left the scene without trading information despite my request to do just that, and that California law would automatically find me at fault. Strangely, he shook my hand.

3: The other driver was perpetrating an insurance scam, then fled after seeing how weird the H-Wing is.
Status: Unknown.

There is no evidence to support this theory. He may have had no license, no insurance, expired tags, guns or drugs in the cab, outstanding tickets or warrants, or some other situation where he didn't want to document the accident.

4: The H-Wing is "totaled".
Status: True.

The damages, solely to the front end of the car, amount to $5400.00. This is above the Mercury Insurance's estimate of "fair market value". Damages consist of:

Radiator, Fan and Core Mount
Hood
Headlights, Aux Lights and Turn Signals
Bumper, mounts and brackets
A/C Compressor and fan
Sand guard and wheel well

5: I am going to scrap the H-Wing, buy a new car and start over.
Status: False.

I plan to buy the car back from Mercury, and have the frame examined and aligned. I'll then make repairs to the best of my ability.

6: MTV's "Pimp My Ride" is going to completely redo the car.
Status: False.

While thoughtful people have submitted my car as a potential "Pimped" ride, I don't meet the criteria (age 18 to 22, for starters). One submission turned out to be a sponsorship scam called "Pimp YOUR Ride", linked off of MTV's webpage. Nor will the car be reworked on "Monster Garage", or "Extreme Makeover". At this point only I am responsible for the restoration of the car.

7: Lucasfilm is funding the restoration.
Status: False.

Although I have received a couple of nice consolatory letters, they are not sponsoring repairs.

8: Pontiac is donating a Solstice convertible to me.
Status: False.

No. That was a joke. But if you work for Pontiac, I'm willing to talk to you guys... :)

9: I am accepting donations of money by Paypal and used replacement parts.
Status: ?????

Uh... I guess so. Got any? Seriously, I haven't received any parts or cash to put the H-Wing back together.

10: I'm giving up on Art Cars.
Status: False.

No, I plan to keep driving the H-Wing once it's fixed, and I'm helping several other folks plan theirs. Even if the H-Wing proved irreparable, I'd find another vehicle and do it again in a heartbeat.

11: I'm giving up on charity events.
Status: False.

I'm doing three events this weekend, and three next week- I'd hardly call that giving up.

12: This tragic event has set me on a downward spiral to the Dark Side from which I'll never recover.
Status: False.

Although I am building some Stormtrooper armor, I plan to remain firmly on the Light Side.

____________________________________________

I hope everyone is straight. If you have any other questions, please let me know at this address.

Shawn Crosby
Pilot, H-Wing Carfighter
www.h-wing.com

Not sure I believe these things...

2005-10-18T09:13:39Z

The "What Kind of Human Are You?" Test.
Candy Striper
You scored 84% Do Gooder, 54% Drive, and 64% Intellect!

(That's STRIPER, not Stripper) You are a very helpful person indeed, always ready to lend a hand, ear, shoulder, or any other body part that may be required. You are warm and caring, as well as resourceful and effective. You are actually one of the best categories of human beings on this test. You're smart, but not too smart for your own good. I think you could benefit from some self-preservation because you are such an unselfish giver who is willing to help at a moment's notice. Not that that's a bad thing, just make some time for yourself now and then. The world would benefit from more people like you.

All human being categories are: Lazy SOB, Rebel w/out a Cause, Evil Mastermind, Henchman, Criminal, Dictator, Frat Boy, Socialite, Philosopher, Stunt Double, Upstanding Citizen, Teacher, Cheerleader, Sister Mary DoGood, Benefactor, Loyal Sidekick, Candy Striper, Goody Two-Shoes.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 97% on Do Gooder
You scored higher than 21% on Drive
You scored higher than 27% on Intellect

Link: The What Type of Human Are You? Test written by weeredIII on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Tick, tick, tick...

2005-10-18T08:41:48Z

I'm trying to get the adjuster to contact me back...It is, as expected, like pulling teeth.

I'm operating on the assumption that there is no frame damage, which the estimator said there wasn't any. I'll verify that tomorrow. In the meantime, I've found a parts place in Carson that has everything I need, OEM and brand new (except the head/aux lights and wheelwell/sandguard liner) for around $650. It's $950 if I need the fenders, too.

I expect I'll rent a pickup and go get the parts as soon as I hear from the adjuster and make certain that they're really going to total it out.

On the other side of things, one of my friends is trying to get the car fixed on "Pimp My Ride". I don't fit the age range or demographic, but I appreciate the thought.

He accidentally signed me up for "Pimp YOUR Ride", a HIN sponsorship program where they charge you $89 if you get accepted. :P

Someone also contacted Lucasfilm, but I must say I'd be shocked if they wanted to help me out.

And in the conspiracy theory end of things, an ex-DMV employee at the insurance company thinks that the truck may have tried to run a collision scam, then backed out and ran away after they saw how weird my car was.

We may never know...

Totaled!

2005-10-13T09:20:56Z

After a hopeful message from the estimator this morning ("I think it's around $900 in parts"), it looks like the H-Wing is totaled. Repair costs look to be $4K, and the blankety-blank AAA tow yard says they incurred $1K in towing and storage.

The shop estimator says I need at least (His ballpark prices attached):
Bumper ($325)
Bumper Supports ($120)
Radiator ($225)
Radiator Supports ($225)
Headlights ($360)
Aux lights ($60)
A/C compressor ($300)
Sand guard ($180)
plus a few other incidentals, and then labor.

So I have some decisions to make. Do I:
Buy it back and go to a different shop?
Buy it back and rebuild it myself with the help of my more mechanically-inclined friends?
Buy a new Del Sol and start over?
Buy a completely different car and start over?
Get Pontiac to donate a Solstice to me?
Regardless, I'm not giving up.

Update from drydock...

2005-10-12T00:37:08Z

The H-Wing is now closer to home- Marina Del Rey, to be exact. Dan, the estimator at the collision center says that the cutoff for determining whether it's "totaled" or not is about $3000.

We've already incurred $500 in towing charges.

I'm hoping that we can cut-rate some of this... I don't need matching paint, or an A/C compressor... I get a bit more info tomorrow morning, and we'll take it from there. Dan offered to reccomend a cheaper shop, but that means more towing fees.

I'm so nervous about this, and it's just a car. I can imagine how strung out I'd be if it were something serious, like someone in the hospital or a baby being born.

It had to happen eventually...

2005-10-09T07:40:36Z

So, I finally did it. Mashed the H-Wing into another vehicle on the way to a charity event in Norco.

SIGH.

I'm fine, but my car is mushed, and I'm bummed. As if I didn't have enough time off the road this year with the broken leg in May, June and July. I'm hoping they don't total it out. Kelly Blue Book retail is $5745, and trade-in is $1850. That's a wide range... I also don't know what Mercury is going to say about my "modifications". All in all, it was a pretty lame experience, but no one got hurt. Yet.

I was heading down the 91 East on my way to Norco. traffic was slow, around 35 MPH. At about the 60 mile mark the guy in front of me, in a blue Dodge pickup, stopped.

Without the benefit of brakelights.

I stopped, too, using his truck as a brake. My hood folded up, and bumper sliced in two. Nothing injured but my pride.

So we pulled onto the shoulder to exchange info. He came and looked at my car, and he said he didn't suffer any damage. I looked at his, and he was right. I did no damage to his truck, other than a bit of paint on the underside of his chrome bumper. I went back to my car to get paper to write down contact info and info on his truck, and he left.

Went away. Vamoosed. LEFT THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT.

I suppose he figured that, since he didn't have any damage, he could take off. It would have been nice to have official verification that his lights weren't working... Grrrr.... All I remember about the truck is it's an early 90's Dodge, first LP numbers 5T, Medium blue color, with a 14" Nazi Skull sticker on the tailgate- kind of like this:

So I filed a CHP report with an officer who thought I was a moron for incriminating myself on paper ("You hit him, he took off, and you STILL wanna file a report?"), had the car towed, got picked up by my long-suffering wife and am now back home.

I have to say it's really lame to be in a flatbed tow truck, with your mashed car on the back, getting honks and waves and thumbs ups from passing motorists who still think your car is cool despite being smooshed.

The tow-truck drivers, on the other hand, had the time of their lives.

General Stuff...

2005-07-22T20:10:49Z

Colleen and I have been married for 15 years today! It's a pretty neat feeling. I have lived with my wife longer than I lived with my parents, so I guess she officially has ownership. :) As I told the mechanic today, I may make some mistakes in life, but my choice in spouses certainly isn't one of them. I'm just glad she chose me back.

I'm trying out a 'new' mech, as our previous tinker passed on recently. I can't stand that feeling of displacement, where you have to replace a trusted friend with someone new. Plus that annoying conflict that always occurs where you feel sympathetic to the family for their loss, and feel guilty for selfishly wondering what you'll do about getting your car fixed.

Interestingly, I've discovered I don't like to post here when I'm sick. Which is odd, because I have all this time to post...

Party Freeway?

2005-07-12T00:06:02Z

In my travels around the southland, I've noticed that different freeways have different demeanors. The 5 is uptight and cranky, the 710 is nervous, the 110 impatient. But the 405? It appears to be the party freeway, based on the people I meet on the road. Whooping, hollering, picturetaking, screaming, yelling. People play their music louder on the 405. Most people seem to be ready to have fun.

10-inch Rock Hard Bazooka of love...

2005-07-10T10:12:11Z

The most memorable phrase from tonight's "60th anniversary" party. Rock band or something more? You decide.

We had a good turnout and a relaxed evening. It's nice when you can celebrate your 15th anniversary with 3 other couples who've been happily married as long as you've been. Boffer fights and legos... That's entertainment!

"Funny as a crutch, Rich..."

2005-07-08T07:51:39Z

Had X-Rays taken today, and my right fibula is healing nicely. The cast is off, but I must occasionally wear a brace. I think I'll hang onto the sabercane a while longer, especially through Comicon.

I still have to put off that tap-dancing class, though...

Don't tell my wife...

2005-07-06T22:37:06Z

I wait alone, facing westward at an oddly unoccupied intersection on Hollywood Boulevard. Despite the heat and mid-afternoon sun, the streets are in shadow, shrouded by the run-down buildings of a more romantic era.

The dingy and vacant street to the north is suddenly overpowered by the shimmering pink bubblegum glow of the lone Corvette that has rolled to a stop there. Behind tinted windows, a blond patiently waits for the light -any light- to change. Both of our vehicles are out of place here, though for different reasons.

For the briefest of moments, our eyes meet; two strangers cloaked in dark glasses. Though she may not know me, her reputation has preceded her by decades. I nod my head in recognition; she lowers her sunglasses and smiles in acknowledgement.

Our eyes part as we furtively examine the lines of each other's vehicles, hoping to take everything in before traffic resumes its course. Inevitably the light does change, on her side; she begins to complete her left turn, an agonizingly slow and gentle curve as she passes within inches.

With hand raised to mouth, she blows a kiss and is gone, receding in my side mirror, her name reflected there in the patriotic colors of her inverted license plate.

Angelyne...

Angelyne is a funny sort of celebrity. Known just for being herself, and more often than not recognized solely for the vehicle she drives, I can kind of identify with her. Especially after this weekend at Anime Expo, where strangers kept coming up to me and addressing me as Obi-Shawn when I was in street clothes.
It's interesting to me that I have notoriety and celebrity just for being extroverted.

I suppose I'm the Angelyne of the Sci-Fi community. Without the curves.

Always something there to remind me...

2005-07-01T01:08:45Z

I finally took the '80s music test. To no one's surprise, I got 171 points, and no wrong answers save a silly misspelling.

"Go to" guy?

2005-06-30T09:45:06Z

I'm often the guy that jumps in and makes things happen in an emergency when things are falling apart, but it is really nice to be the first contact to do neat things. One such event was recently setting up the "dancing stormtroopers" for the AFI Lucas tribute. Now I've been asked to repair/rehab the 3/4-scale Lucasfilm X-Wing (and its R2 unit) going on display in Los Angeles at Siggraph and the FIDM Star Wars Costume exhibit.

It's the geek version of being picked first for baseball.

Blogging is Not a Chore...

2005-06-29T09:28:10Z

I've decided to make a conscious effort to write stuff down. Let's see how long it lasts...

I will write here. I will write here. I will write here.

Bread and Circuses in the Forum- Part One

2005-03-06T09:41:42Z

I had a pretty neat couple of days on Thursday and Friday of this week. A large number of Star Wars fans, equipped with “canon” costumes, were asked to take part in the filming of an ad campaign for Orange, the European cellphone provider. The ads are meant to coincide with the release of Episode III in the UK.

Thursday I went down to the Great Western Forum, former home of the LA Lakers and Kings franchises. Arriving at a 5:00 AM call (urgh!), I hooked up with other 501st and Rebel Legion members and about 150 SAG and non-union extras. While *we* had been told to bring Star Wars gear, some of the agencies had messed up, telling their actors to bring “trekkie” gear- there were some unhappy extras…

One of the PAs called the 501st to mount up, and we trucked our gear through the loading dock into a dressing room in the bowels of the Forum. We had a good selection of generics- troopers, pilots, a Mandalorian, a Royal Guard and of course Jedi- plus William as Vader, Grant as Chewbacca, Vince as Han, Dan as Anakin, and more. I opted to suit up in my “H-Wing” pilot’s uniform, with my Obi-Wan costume in reserve.

The scenario was a “convention”, so the floor of the Forum was turned into a dealer’s room of sorts, where someone’s rented collection of Star Wars memorabilia was used to populate the booths. It was pretty funny to see all of these Hasbro toys put in acrylic display cases as if they were priceless artifacts. Perhaps more amusinge were the extra's costumes, provided b wardrobe. These ranged from ghastly (bad Princess Leia Slave Girl costumes on inapropriately-figured women) to the enourmously clever (trashcan R2 units on people's heads).

It turned out to be a pretty grueling day, with quite a bit of marching and repetitive takes. I was often specifically put in the line of camera fire, I suppose since I was so unusual looking. When we filmed the exterior parking lot scenes, the AD, Rhonda, had me place the H-Wing front and center in the foreground of the frame. It was definitely a great place to be, and I must’ve given around 50 “tours” of the car to the crew in between takes.

We also did a series of smaller vignettes, like the turnstile entry and “security” search. It was funny to see all of us- troopers, pilots and Jedi armed to the teeth- passed over with a wand and sent on while Chewie (Grant) was hassled for setting off the alarms.

A neat bit about Grant- not only is he impressive in his very convincing Chewie costume, but he has a great, loud Wookie call that he can do with his mouth. I can make a lot of wookie noises, but this was impressive!

The day went awfully long, though- especially a scene where Vader and his trooper squad marched through the con trampling anything –which included me and others in addition to the real stuntpersons- in their way, and some of the folks who stuck it out ‘till the end didn’t opt to stay for day two.

Which is a bummer, because day two- Friday- ROCKED.